I get it now. Motherhood opens your eyes to so many new things in life. You get to see life for the first time all over again through your little one's eyes. You get to play with cool toys because admit it...baby toys are just FUN. You get to have cuddles, love and giggles on a daily basis. You get to see what 2:00am looks like...and 3:00am...and 4:00am. And you finally understand why moms are the target of most ambush makeovers. Today, I could be a prime example of a worn out looking mommy who is doing her damnest not to look frumpy. Currently, I am caught somewhere in between a mish mash of an attempt to look trendy in clothes that still don't quite fit right complete with a hair style that looks like I probably slept in it even though it took 15 minutes, half a can of hairspray and about 20 bobby pins.
Before baby, I watched the intros to those make over segments where the children would be telling the hosts how much their mother does for them and how she takes little time for herself. I wondered why any self respecting mama would let herself go. Children need their mothers to be individuals to admire! But now I understand that, especially in early motherhood, you aren't choosing to let yourself go but the limited amount of time you have as a working mother is not assisting you in maintaining style. Your body is still weird (even though thankfully I only have five more pounds to go), you are tired and honestly you would rather play with your baby after work then bother painting your nails (or in my case, removing the week old chipped nail polish that is currently on my nails).
My mom is and has always been glamorous to me. She got up early to be completely dressed before she got me up so she could look nice while also being able to give me her complete attention. She found a great balance of taking care of herself while also being a hands on mom. Her example of taking care of herself made me question those moms that let themselves go. But mom also reminds me that when I was a baby she didn't work so I have a lot more to balance. This reminder makes me feel better about all that I am juggling but I can't let myself go too long without some style maintenance so I plan to use our two week Christmas break to recharge myself to at least look decent for the first month of January when we return!
At first I googled how to recharge my beauty routine as a new mom but quickly realized there was no secret out there but just the simple tried and true methods. Even before motherhood, I found myself needing a moment to step back and recharge. Simple things work like a long bath (maybe a glass of wine as well) with a new body wash and actually moisturizing my skin after I get out which is a rarity these days. I need to also take a moment while my husband is playing with Buckner and paint my nails...or at least remove the hideous remnants of left over nail polish. I plan on remembering what the hair straightener does and styling my hair in something other than a frizzy bun! And lastly, I am desperate for a moment to organize my closet so that I can take stock of what I do have and what I need to purchase to refresh my wardrobe. Hopefully, I will even get a moment to exercise over the break but the least I can do is drink a lot of water...and maybe even more wine! Even though my hair is still frizzy and I type with unmanicured, dry hands at the moment, just making this list makes me feel rejuvenated and excited to start our holiday break!
Speaking of the two week break, I am so grateful that I have a job that allows for an extended break over the holidays. I am going back to the maternity leave mindset and focusing completely on my family during this time. Therefore, I will not blog until after the New Year. Please check back in 2015 to catch up on Buckner's first Christmas and all the fun things that happened over the break. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Friday, December 19, 2014
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Why "Happy Holidays" Does Not Offend Me
This morning I was talking to a colleague about our holiday plans which included both Christmas and New Year's activities. As we left, he said sweetly, "Happy Holidays." I returned the greeting with a heartfelt, "Happy Holidays." The simple exchange made me remember a Facebook conversation that a few of my friends started last week. They were angry that someone said, "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." I thought about them this morning after I said the seasonal greeting because, as a Christian, the saying did not offend me.
As I read their banter last week about how they would strongly return any "Happy Holidays" saying with a stern "Merry Christmas" I understood their defense of the Christian holiday. As a devout Christian myself, I wondered if I should do the same. This morning I realized the answer is no. While the word "Xmas" greatly offends me because it is the deliberate removal of the word Christ, I don't feel that a person who uses "Happy Holidays" necessarily intends to remove Christ from the season.
I think the phrase is most commonly used when wishing happy greetings for an entire season. When discussing holiday plans one is usually discussing New Year's festivities as well therefore it just isn't Christmas but an entire holiday season that is included when saying "Happy Holidays." Secondly, not everyone celebrates Christmas but this doesn't threaten my Christian beliefs nor does it make me feel like I should return their saying with a hostile stare as I say, "It's MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Doesn't that hostility defeat the whole point of the giving and peaceful spirit we celebrate this time of year? Even if the person does celebrate Christmas but offers the phrase out of respect because they don't know if you celebrate the holiday, don't assume it's a sign of disrespect. Instead of anger, be thankful for the consideration. Further, as I walked away from my colleague after exchanging the holiday saying I wondered what would Jesus say since, after all, it is His holiday. I think He would not take offense to a simple saying but instead offer kindness, understanding and love demonstrating the Christian spirit we all aim to reflect.
I hope other Christians can see that in the spirit of Christmas, next time a person offers a kind greeting be generous of spirit and return the kindness. After all, not everyone has a political agenda behind a greeting. Sometimes life is simple and a greeting is just a greeting. Happy Holidays can simply mean have a wonderful holiday season! Happy Holidays to you and yours!
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
These Days...
These days I love...
....waking up to our smiling baby who grabs my hand when I touch him
....wine and conversation with my husband after work
....being able to comfort Buckner back to sleep with simply laying my hand on his chest
....driving to Christmas music while seeing Christmas lights
....the slowness of the end of the semester
....seeing our son smile when we play patty cake
....being able to rely on my mom for motherly advice
....hearing Buckner babble a full conversation with enthusiastic grunts and yells
....anticipating family time to come in the next couple of weeks during the holidays
....waking up to our smiling baby who grabs my hand when I touch him
....wine and conversation with my husband after work
....being able to comfort Buckner back to sleep with simply laying my hand on his chest
....driving to Christmas music while seeing Christmas lights
....the slowness of the end of the semester
....seeing our son smile when we play patty cake
....being able to rely on my mom for motherly advice
....hearing Buckner babble a full conversation with enthusiastic grunts and yells
....anticipating family time to come in the next couple of weeks during the holidays
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| Buckner discovered the reverse function on the phone camera and he loves to look at himself |
Monday, December 15, 2014
Mommy Worries: Preventing Flat Head Syndrome
"Which way are you laying him in the crib?" I stumbled to answer the doctor's question because Buckner rarely laid in his crib. I have been so afraid of SIDS that he has slept (happily) in his rock-n-play beside our bed since arriving home from the hospital. Now, 4 months later, I was embarrassed to admit that I had not forced the issue of transitioning to the pack-n-play in our bedroom.
In my defense, the initial plan was for him to sleep in the pack-n-play but the first night home we realized that the sleep plan was not meeting his needs to feel cozy and cuddled. Therefore, he was not sleeping at all. He immediately fell asleep when placed in the rock-n-play. I liked the idea of it because it kept him at an incline which seem to help his nasal congestion. When he hit around 3 1/2 months my mother began to mention that he was starting to get a little big for our current sleep solution and we should think about the transition. Just as we were about to do so, he developed an awful cold and I was afraid of allowing him to lie flat on his back to sleep. So we decided to put it off a few more days. Those days turned into a couple of weeks until I found myself struggling to answer the doctor's question.
The doctor was trying to offer a helpful solution on how to prevent Buckner's head from becoming flatter while helping the back of his head to round out. He suggested rotating the direction of how we lay him to sleep so that if he turns his head to look at the door he is turning it a different way each time. Of course, we are still suppose to put him on his back to sleep but by rotating which way his feet are pointing in the crib might help by putting pressure in various places on his head and not the same place every night.
I started to feel the mommy guilt and envy other babies' perfectly round heads. Had I failed by protecting him from one risk ultimately creating another problem? I wondered how other mothers had prevented the flatness in their babies. I thought tummy time was all that was needed but obviously more strategies are necessary. We do tummy time but it was not enough to counteract the flatness developing. Of course, this worried mama turned to Dr. Google to figure out all possible solutions to reverse the beginning stages of flat head syndrome. I discovered the rock-n-play can contribute to the flatness if overused because it prevents them from moving their heads from side to side. While it has been great for us in helping nasal congestion and keeping him cozy, we agreed it was time to move to the pack-n-play. I am determined to keep him in our room for the first six months because room sharing can reduce the risk of SIDS so before we transition him to his crib in his room, he will sleep in the pack-n-play.
The first night I wedged the pack-n-play between the wall and my side of the bed. Now I was a happy mama again because I was not ready for my baby to sleep away from me even if he was in the same room. The position of the pack-n-play turned out to be a good thing because he did not sleep well that first night so I had to keep comforting him. The next night we used the sleep sack and he slept the entire night. Several nights later the transition has been accomplished. A couple of nights I woke up and found him flipped over on his tummy happily snoozing away. I know that when they can flip themselves over it is okay that they are on their tummy but I couldn't leave him that way after seeing him so I flipped him over only slightly disturbing him.
Another attempt we are doing to help with the flatness is baby wearing. I just received a Seven Slings sling. I googled free code and got it for free with the exception of shipping and handling. He loves being in it and it helps relieve some of the heaviness of just toting him around. I thought I ordered up a size but I think I would like it slightly bigger so I was thinking about getting another one just a little bigger especially as he grows. Baby wearing has been wonderful for us because we can do some things around the house and I feel like I get to spend more time with him since he in his daycare Monday through Friday.
We are increasing the amount of tummy time when we are with him. He is getting better at being on his tummy. Santa may bring him a toy to encourage tummy time like this one. We also are researching exersaucers. We asked the pediatricain about it and he said some doctors don't like them because they are used as babysitters but they are fine if use them in moderation and always supervise them. We have learned that there is an opinion on every toy. You definitely have to do your research because for babies play is their work!
In my defense, the initial plan was for him to sleep in the pack-n-play but the first night home we realized that the sleep plan was not meeting his needs to feel cozy and cuddled. Therefore, he was not sleeping at all. He immediately fell asleep when placed in the rock-n-play. I liked the idea of it because it kept him at an incline which seem to help his nasal congestion. When he hit around 3 1/2 months my mother began to mention that he was starting to get a little big for our current sleep solution and we should think about the transition. Just as we were about to do so, he developed an awful cold and I was afraid of allowing him to lie flat on his back to sleep. So we decided to put it off a few more days. Those days turned into a couple of weeks until I found myself struggling to answer the doctor's question.
The doctor was trying to offer a helpful solution on how to prevent Buckner's head from becoming flatter while helping the back of his head to round out. He suggested rotating the direction of how we lay him to sleep so that if he turns his head to look at the door he is turning it a different way each time. Of course, we are still suppose to put him on his back to sleep but by rotating which way his feet are pointing in the crib might help by putting pressure in various places on his head and not the same place every night.
I started to feel the mommy guilt and envy other babies' perfectly round heads. Had I failed by protecting him from one risk ultimately creating another problem? I wondered how other mothers had prevented the flatness in their babies. I thought tummy time was all that was needed but obviously more strategies are necessary. We do tummy time but it was not enough to counteract the flatness developing. Of course, this worried mama turned to Dr. Google to figure out all possible solutions to reverse the beginning stages of flat head syndrome. I discovered the rock-n-play can contribute to the flatness if overused because it prevents them from moving their heads from side to side. While it has been great for us in helping nasal congestion and keeping him cozy, we agreed it was time to move to the pack-n-play. I am determined to keep him in our room for the first six months because room sharing can reduce the risk of SIDS so before we transition him to his crib in his room, he will sleep in the pack-n-play.
The first night I wedged the pack-n-play between the wall and my side of the bed. Now I was a happy mama again because I was not ready for my baby to sleep away from me even if he was in the same room. The position of the pack-n-play turned out to be a good thing because he did not sleep well that first night so I had to keep comforting him. The next night we used the sleep sack and he slept the entire night. Several nights later the transition has been accomplished. A couple of nights I woke up and found him flipped over on his tummy happily snoozing away. I know that when they can flip themselves over it is okay that they are on their tummy but I couldn't leave him that way after seeing him so I flipped him over only slightly disturbing him.
Another attempt we are doing to help with the flatness is baby wearing. I just received a Seven Slings sling. I googled free code and got it for free with the exception of shipping and handling. He loves being in it and it helps relieve some of the heaviness of just toting him around. I thought I ordered up a size but I think I would like it slightly bigger so I was thinking about getting another one just a little bigger especially as he grows. Baby wearing has been wonderful for us because we can do some things around the house and I feel like I get to spend more time with him since he in his daycare Monday through Friday.
We are increasing the amount of tummy time when we are with him. He is getting better at being on his tummy. Santa may bring him a toy to encourage tummy time like this one. We also are researching exersaucers. We asked the pediatricain about it and he said some doctors don't like them because they are used as babysitters but they are fine if use them in moderation and always supervise them. We have learned that there is an opinion on every toy. You definitely have to do your research because for babies play is their work!
Buckner Milestone 12/14/14
I was in Wal-Mart and it was time for him to eat. I was trying to feed him as I shopped while he sat in his carrier in the buggy. I had to readjust my hand so I put the bottle in front of him for a minute in his lap. All of a sudden I heard a grunt and saw my little baby sitting up and grabbing his bottle. I tested to see if this new skill was a fluke but he did it again. He knows what to do with his bottle!
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Favorite Toys: Feet!
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| At four months old, I can roll from back to stomach and stomach to back. I am getting better at tummy time and I can even manage to scoot around. I am a strong baby boy! |
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| At four months old, I love to smile and babble. I tell long stories with lots of facial expressions and serious grunts! |
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| At four months old, my feet are my favorite toys! The best part is they are always with me. |
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
A Magical First Moment
Over the last four months, there has been a handful of times when it really sunk in that we are parents. Standing in line in our Chik Fil A this Saturday morning at 9:00am I looked around at the children dressed in various Christmas themed outfits and looked over at my husband as I realized this was how we were spending our Saturday morning. We were standing in an overcrowded line with our son that I dressed up like a little candy cane elf as we excitedly waited on the first moment our son would meet Santa Claus. I looked at Ed and said, "We are really parents." My husband, who was trying his best to be patient because he really just wanted to
eat breakfast already, smiled at me and said, "I know."
Ed and I are big kids so the moment the shock of finding out we were expecting dissapated we were so excited to be able to gain membership to the parent club where you get to do all the fun things with your kids. Now let's be honest. Buckner had no clue why I put him in a ridiculously cute outfit and bundled him up to go stand in a fast food restaurant. But this mama was giddy getting to show our baby how exciting Santa can be. I actually found myself a little nervous talking to the jolly, giant elf (who was really a great Santa and actually an elementary school principal).
However before we could even get up to Santa, the smell I thought I first smelled in the car became stronger. Our sweet little son was patiently waiting for someone to change his diaper but had not uttered a peep in his carrier. I leaned over to inspect as we got closer to the front of line and sure enough I recognized the unmistakable smell of a diaper that cannot wait to be changed. We debated if Santa would smell it but as I lifted his legs to check his pants, his candy cane pants were not so crisp anymore. Yes, we had an official blow out to be addressed. So much for standing in line in my parental euphoria of experiencing one of those first moments because we had to move fast to not miss our place in line. I grabbed Buckner and we ran to the bathroom to do the fastest diaper change we have ever experienced. Of course, he giggled and kicked his way through it as if to tell me, "I told you I'd figure out a way to not wear those pants, Mommy!" I found the closest matching pair of pants in his spare clothes bag which happened to be blue. Not the best match for my perfectly planned outfit but a lesson I am quickly learning is that parenthood is composed of those imperfect moments that make up the memories and stories. Just wait until I tell this story on Buckner's first date!
I made it back with two kids still in front of us and was able to hand Santa a fresh smelling Buckner. The grandfather of three (who knew Santa had grandchildren!) was so friendly and did not want to let go of our little guy. He told the children behind us to be patient because Santa was going to hold this baby for awhile. Buckner, in his usual laidback style, calmly posed for the picture. As we waited for the photos to print, Santa told me to make sure I bring him back next year because he loved seeing the children grow through the years.
We thanked them for a wonderful experience and finally ordered our breakfast to make all of us, including my husband, now happy, clean and fed. We really could not have had a better first Santa visit experience. Normally Ed and I would have chosen to do breakfast at another non fast food place but this past Saturday there is no other place I would have rather been but surrounded by our other parent friends, greasy biscuits (which were delicious) and excited children anxiously waiting to see a kind man who helps in creating the magic of Christmas.
Ed and I are big kids so the moment the shock of finding out we were expecting dissapated we were so excited to be able to gain membership to the parent club where you get to do all the fun things with your kids. Now let's be honest. Buckner had no clue why I put him in a ridiculously cute outfit and bundled him up to go stand in a fast food restaurant. But this mama was giddy getting to show our baby how exciting Santa can be. I actually found myself a little nervous talking to the jolly, giant elf (who was really a great Santa and actually an elementary school principal).
However before we could even get up to Santa, the smell I thought I first smelled in the car became stronger. Our sweet little son was patiently waiting for someone to change his diaper but had not uttered a peep in his carrier. I leaned over to inspect as we got closer to the front of line and sure enough I recognized the unmistakable smell of a diaper that cannot wait to be changed. We debated if Santa would smell it but as I lifted his legs to check his pants, his candy cane pants were not so crisp anymore. Yes, we had an official blow out to be addressed. So much for standing in line in my parental euphoria of experiencing one of those first moments because we had to move fast to not miss our place in line. I grabbed Buckner and we ran to the bathroom to do the fastest diaper change we have ever experienced. Of course, he giggled and kicked his way through it as if to tell me, "I told you I'd figure out a way to not wear those pants, Mommy!" I found the closest matching pair of pants in his spare clothes bag which happened to be blue. Not the best match for my perfectly planned outfit but a lesson I am quickly learning is that parenthood is composed of those imperfect moments that make up the memories and stories. Just wait until I tell this story on Buckner's first date!
I made it back with two kids still in front of us and was able to hand Santa a fresh smelling Buckner. The grandfather of three (who knew Santa had grandchildren!) was so friendly and did not want to let go of our little guy. He told the children behind us to be patient because Santa was going to hold this baby for awhile. Buckner, in his usual laidback style, calmly posed for the picture. As we waited for the photos to print, Santa told me to make sure I bring him back next year because he loved seeing the children grow through the years.
We thanked them for a wonderful experience and finally ordered our breakfast to make all of us, including my husband, now happy, clean and fed. We really could not have had a better first Santa visit experience. Normally Ed and I would have chosen to do breakfast at another non fast food place but this past Saturday there is no other place I would have rather been but surrounded by our other parent friends, greasy biscuits (which were delicious) and excited children anxiously waiting to see a kind man who helps in creating the magic of Christmas.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Our Little Gift
In the months leading up to finding out that I was pregnant with Buckner, I knew for certain that I was pregnant. We weren't really trying but every little potential moment of nausea or a slight cramp would lead me to guessing I was pregnant only to find out that I wasn't. However a year ago today, I was completely clueless that I was actually pregnant.
The day after last year's Thanksgiving began with nausea. I thought it was carsickness from a long car ride. At our family's party, I didn't really want wine. I thought I was losing my taste for wine. I was craving ranch dressing which I normally hate. I thought my tastes were expanding. I really wanted to drink a case of ginger ale which I have never been able to stand and I thought I was just thirsty. A few days later, I passed up coffee at the Christmas Parade and chose hot chocolate instead. Coffee didn't sound good to me but I just thought I was tired of coffee for the day. My breasts were sore but I just thought I was about to start my period. I had a logical explanation for it all but the Tuesday after Thanksgiving after dying my hair (I know - good choice right?), I knew something was up. The hair dye stung so much I had to get it off my head early and I was still nauseated.
Ed went to the store to get a pregnancy test because I still wasn't convinced being pregnant was the reason I was feeling funny but Ed said he knew when I didn't want coffee since I am usually a coffee addict. And sure enough before I could finish peeing on the stick, the plus sign was showing up. I thought the test was malfunctioning but we knew - our little baby was on the way!
I had my first doctor's appointment on December 23rd to confirm the results so on December 25th we put a footed sleeper in a Christmas gift bag to tell Ed's family. We bought a gender neutral one that was 3 - 6 months size so our baby could wear it this year. And here it is a year later and I dressed Buckner in the outfit that announced his upcoming arrival. I thought starting his first Christmas season with his outfit would be the perfect way to start a month of memory making.
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| Hanging out in his special Christmas sleeper |
I feel like there is a lot of pressure to make your little one's first Christmas perfect. I had to refocus myself on the precious priorities of this season so that I could enjoy experiencing Buckner's first holiday season instead of stressing over perfection. My sweet baby boy doesn't care about the perfect decorations or a ton of new toys under the tree this year. He wants lot of mommy and daddy time with sweet cuddles and lots of play time. And as for treats, bring on the bottles!
I don't want to stress myself out trying to achieve the perfect Hallmark Christmas and in the midst of stress miss out on the important parts. I do want to capture memories and make the most of this first precious holiday season while starting holiday traditions of our own. I want the majority of our Christmas season to include a little bit of slowing down and enjoying quiet family moments at home sitting around the Christmas tree and just enjoying our little boy. Other memories I want to make include:
1. Buckner's first trip to see Santa Claus.
2. A Christmas Card featuring our sweet little elf.
3. Attend Christmas Eve Mass.
4. Purchase a first Christmas ornament.
5. Enjoy a peaceful, sweet Christmas morning for Buckner's first Santa Claus.
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| Enjoying family time at home during the Christmas season |
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