Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Working on Working Mama Balance

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They said it will get easier and a lot of days dropping him off at daycare is just a normal part of the routine. Days where he is happy and playing as I leave are the easiest...if you can call any of them easy.  Today was not one of those days. After several days of trying to figure out how to get another baby to stop biting Buckner combined with an extremely difficult morning, leaving today was far from routine. I fought back tears as I looked back to see my little boy held by one of the teachers watching me with sad eyes as I walked out of the school. I pray my little sweetheart knows how much I miss him every day. I pray that he benefits from the socialization of playing with other babies and doesn't suffer any consequences of being in a daycare.

The morning of Buckner's nine month birthday he was very clingy and I ended up having to wear him in a baby sling to get my hair and make up done. In the last few weeks, he crawls after me crying when I leave him at school unless a teacher holds him. I never can leave him crying so I go back into the room multiple times making me late for work on a regular basis but I chalk up the lateness to trying to balance motherhood with career.  Despite the morning tears, he is a very happy baby. The crawling after me in the morning is a double edge sword because it makes me so happy to see how much he loves me but I don't want him to cry. The same crawling in the afternoon makes my entire day. When I walk in the room and I say his name, it is almost as if he runs on all fours instead of crawls as he gleefully makes his way over to me.

I am still working on the art of balancing it all and it appears most working mothers are working on balancing dividing time between baby and career. I have a feeling  we will always be working on balancing work with motherhood. Like any thing in life there are moments where we get it and moments where we struggle. Life is cyclical and some days are easier than others. However, every day I am committed to being a hands on mama that my child can count on being there even though I work full time. I have a lot of female role models that are already accomplishing the balance. They are successful at home and at work which takes a whole lot of planning, endless support from family and friends, and most importantly letting go of perfectionism to focus on the most important little creature...your baby.

He loves outside, splashing in baths, dropping toys for you to pick up and crawling.He can give you a high five.  He can pull up and say dada.  We are still working on mama but I think I have heard him say it when he is angry and screaming! And on day one of month nine, he tried picking up finger foods for the first time. Now he is crazy about his Gerber puffs!

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